As part of the fulfilment of the church theme of “Christ-centred Relationship, Godly Families”, the PSPC Family Life Ministry will feature special articles on marriage, parenting and singlehood in the bulletin on a fortnightly basis.
How to Raise Sons of Honor
Bringing up boys who are pleasing in His sight
When we think about parenting boys, most of us tend to immediately associate it with noise – lots of it, strange smells and boundless energy, but we know they are so much more than that.
When we think about raising sons of honor, what do we exactly hope to see in our boys? It’s often easy to incline towards looking at our sons through the lenses of the world’s standards but the beauty of being believers in Christ is the fact that there is no better place to go to for insight than the Word of God.
On that note, it would seem that the mark of a true man of honor would be his ability to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. How then do we, as parents and guardians help our boys bear fruits that are pleasing to our Heavenly Father?
Teach Patience and Self-Control
Be explicit about boundaries and intentionally discuss with, not dictate consequences of their actions to them. In teaching our sons to have greater control over their emotions and impulses, it is important to give them space to articulate their thoughts and feelings.
Be real with them, and share with them personal experiences of negative consequences you might have faced yourself, where appropriate.
Anticipate potential situations that our sons might face and use those scenarios to discuss ways in which they can manage them. Be it fighting the urge to retaliate when provoked by a schoolmate to resisting the temptation of having pre-marital sex – having open conversations and allowing them to understand the personal consequences of their actions, in addition to the impact they will have on others, will be a good start in helping them manage their thoughts, emotions and impulses.
Teach Kindness and Gentleness
The key to teaching kindness is to help our boys develop a sense of empathy. It is only when they can picture themselves in another person’s shoes, can they begin to feel for others and exhibit kindness and gentleness.
Be alert to events or situations where another person is in need or at a disadvantage. It could be something that we might have watched on television with them, read about or caught a glimpse of in our day-to-day living, that allow us to open up conversations which help our boys. The important thing is to get our boys to think about what others might be going through and how they might be able to help make things better for others.
Taking it one step further and actually performing random acts of kindness for others on your own and with them or volunteering together at a welfare organization are just some ways to bring them on this learning journey.
Being faithful in all things entails remaining committed in relationships and staying true to one’s word – in short – being accountable in all things and in all relationships.
One of the most powerful ways to teach faithfulness is to demonstrate it in your marriage. Letting your son see how you work things through with your spouse in times of conflict and how you place great emphasis on being accountable to your spouse in all things, will send a strong message to your sons. We must be committed to keeping our word when we make promises to our sons and to anyone else.
Never forget that all eyes are on us at all times and a powerful way to demonstrate faithfulness is praying daily with our boys. Thanking our Lord alongside them, confessing and being accountable to our Heavenly Father in the presence of our sons – will teach them so much more about what it means to be a man of honor.
When they see our humility as parents, before Christ, they will learn that in all things, we are answerable to Him above and it is His love that sustains us. In a nutshell, it takes plenty of role-modelling, intentional conversations and prayer with and over our boys to raise sons who please Him alone. It’s not about bringing up boys who look good in the eyes of the world – It’s more about raising young men who are after God’s heart, who will go on to share and live out God’s truths in their own families in time to come.
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